Unfortunately for Chris Brown and Rhiannon they have become the poster children for Domestic Violence.

Fortunately they have brought to the national spotlight a serious situation facing many teens and tweens and their families across the country.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

The most important first step you can take is to realize that it's not your fault. You are not causing the abuser to harm you, your mom or dad, sibling or friend. Most abusers are victims of domestic violence themselves. But that is no excuse. No one has permission to harm you or your family members. NO ONE!  YOU can stop the cycle by learning as much as you can about domestic and date violence and getting help as soon as you can. For example, domestic violence is more than physical violence. Check out this list.

SEVEN SIGNS
OF DOMESTIC ABUSE

 1) Does he/she try to keep you away from your friends and family? Abusers want to isolate you so that they have even more power over you.

2) Is he/she Dr. Jekyll - Mr. Hyde? If your boyfriend/girlfriend is wonderful one minute and then angry the next that is a sign of potential problems.

3) Is she/he unable to control their anger? Do they hit the wall, slam the door, push you or hit you? Keep you from leaving?

4) Is he/she jealous and possessive? Some jealousy is normal but if you are changing your behavior because you are afraid of what your boyfriend/girlfriend are doing then it's time to end the relationship.

5) Does he/she put you down? The quickest way to turn you into a doormat is to strip you of your self-confidence.

6) Does he/she punish you by withholding love? Once an abuser gets you hooked withholding love and affection is the most effective thing they can do to control you.

7) Does he/she blame others and you for everything that goes wrong? Abusers don't take responsibility.

STOP THE CYCLE
 AND GET HELP

If you or a family member is suffering from domestic violence, abuse or date violence, get help as soon as you can. Talk with a counselor at your school or contact one of the hot lines we've listed below.

HOTLINES

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.

U.S. National Teen Dating Violence Helpline at 1-866-331-9474


WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH

 A few of us at Hey U G L Y are survivors of domestic abuse and we know what you are going through. That's why we're working with the victim advocate experts to develop one of our cool "emotional learning" activity programs for your school to help you never have to withstand this again. But don't wait for our program, get help now. You are not alone and it is NOT your fault.