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30 Things To Start Doing For Yourself
By Marc and Angel Hack
- Start spending time with the right people. These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
- Start facing your problems head on. It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
- Start being honest with yourself about everything. Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.
- Start making your own happiness a priority. Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
- Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
- Start noticing and living in the present. Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
- Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
- Start being more polite to yourself. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.
- Start enjoying the things you already have. The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
- Start creating your own happiness. If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too.
- Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
- Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
- Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
- Start giving new people you meet a chance. It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
- Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.
- Start cheering for other people’s victories. Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
- Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
- Start forgiving yourself and others. We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
- Start helping those around you. Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.
- Start listening to your own inner voice. If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.
- Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. Slow down. Breathe. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
- Start noticing the beauty of small moments. Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
- Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
- Start working toward your goals every single day. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result.
- Start being more open about how you feel. If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
- Start taking full accountability for your own life. Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
- Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
- Start concentrating on the things you can control. You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
- Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.
- Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.
Acceptance
By Mary Manin Morrissey
The Universe holds nothing back from us. We hold back because we don’t feel we’re worthy and then we don’t let the gifts grow into their fullness because we ignore them. For instance, suppose someone pays you a compliment. How much do you really let that in? Do you fend it off right away, or acknowledge your own goodness? The next time someone shows appreciation for you or what you’ve done, try simply accepting the gift without disparagement. Then consider how that acceptance makes you feel.
Amy Schumer’s: “The girl with the lower back tattoo.”
“I often tell my daughters that the most important thing they can do is to develop their minds. You can always put on a pretty dress, but it doesn’t matter what you wear on the outside if your mind isn’t strong.”
Anger Is Necessary
By A.J. Mahari (aka Soul)
Anger, in our society today, is a much maligned emotion. Anger is, at the very least, too often thought of as or defined as not okay and/or destructive among a host of other negative descriptors. Anger is seen as a negative unwanted emotion.
It is viewed as a destroyer of love and/or as the antithesis of love. This results in anger being the most repressed emotion.
It is not being angry or feeling angry or having anger that is unhealthy. It is choosing to repress or inappropriately express or display your anger that is at the root of our culture’s issues with anger.
Anger is a healthy human emotion to feel. It is what we do with it once we feel it that matters most.
Anger is necessary if we are feeling beings. If we are able to feel anything, from time to time, anger will invariably be a part of what we feel. Anger has tremendous value. It alerts us to potential danger. It moves us into action to take care of ourselves and/or protect ourselves.
It is necessary to feel anger in order to be healthy and well-balanced.
It is not feeling angry that is negative it is the repression of anger until it implodes or explodes without rational guidance that can be destructive. It is denying the appropriate and healthy expression of our anger that can also be destructive.
When you are angry you are likely in touch with what you need in any given situation. When you are angry you likely know that something isn’t okay.
Embrace how angry you may feel at any given time.
Anger indicates that we care enough to feel and to give voice to our feelings, especially feelings of displeasure. It also clears the air so that free exchange can take place. Anger is necessary.
The right to feel and to express our anger in healthy ways is necessary if we are going to be able to feel and express compassion for ourselves and each other.
Feeling your anger and learning to appropriately express it without guilt or shame is of paramount importance to being able to be true to yourself and true with others.
Attitude Is Everything
By A.J. Mahari
We can be grumpy or we can accept where we are today and celebrate that by going with the flow. Again, central to finding peace within a more positive attitude is letting go of the things that we can’t control outside of ourselves.
It is also pointless and a source of pain to try to control ourselves too much too.
Be who you are. Help those you care about when you can. Don’t guilt yourself for not doing more. You cannot be perfect.
Acceptance will enable you to find a peaceful and adequately humble attitude that will serve you and those around you well. Never be afraid to be real. Never be afraid to show your emotions. Emotions are not a display of weakness. They are a display of courage and strength.
Attitude is everything. You can choose your attitude. Free yourself from the “shoulds” and know that what you are doing is enough. Steady as you go and a step at a time — that’s what sees the accomplishment of goals in the long run.
Choose to be giving. Choose to think the best of others while taking care of yourself. The lighter your attitude, the lighter your load.
Avoid the Company Of Chronic Criticizers
By Terry Cole-Whittaker, in “Life Your Bliss”
Avoid the company of chronic criticizers, naysayers, prophets of doom, materialists, fearmongers, gossipers, and the fearful, envious, and angry. If you must be around these lower-frequency energies, consider it a test of your ability to hold your own and keep your mind, emotions, and words in the spiritual zone. When you can do this, you become victorious, not a victim. We must control our thoughts and words, or we are nothing more than stimulus-response machines reacting from habit and fear- and lack-based programming. Seek the highest truth and act on it, regardless of your old habits and programming. Remember that you are making new habits and these are what will now start manifesting.
Be Aware Of Your Thoughts
By A.J. Mahari (aka Soul)
Few people enjoy the company of individuals whose attitudes are persistently negative. Yet many of us tolerate the critical chatter that can originate within our own minds. Since we are so used to the stream of self-limiting, critical consciousness that winds its way through our thoughts, we are often unaware of the impact these musings have on our lives. It is only when we become aware of the power of such thoughts that we can divest ourselves of them and fill the emptiness they leave with loving, peaceful affirmations. Many people, upon paying careful attention to their thinking patterns, are surprised at the negativity they find there. But when we take notice of involuntary thoughts in a nonjudgmental way, we initiate a healing process that will eventually allow us to replace intimidating and upsetting self-talk with positive, empowering thoughts.
While the occasional downbeat or judgmental thought may have little impact on your contentment, the ongoing negativity that passes unnoticed can have a dampening effect on your mood and your outlook. When you are aware of the tone of your thoughts, however, you can challenge them. Try to be conscious of your feelings, opinions, and judgments for a single day. From sunup to sundown, scrutinize the messages you are feeding into your subconscious mind. Consider your thoughts from the perspective of a detached observer and try not to judge yourself based on the notions that come unbidden into your mind. Simply watch the flow of your consciousness and make a note of the number of times you find yourself focusing on gloomy notions or indulging in self-directed criticism.
As you become increasingly aware of your patterns of thought, whether positive and negative, you will gradually learn to control the character of your stream of consciousness. Endeavor always to remember that the images and ideas that pass through your mind are transient and not a true representation of who you are. In training yourself to be cognizant of your thoughts, you gain the ability to actively modulate your mood. The awareness you cultivate within yourself will eventually enable you to create a foundation of positivity from which you can build a more authentic existence.
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Believe In Yourself
By A.J. Mahari
Doubt is the result of fear. Second guessing ourselves often could be an indication that we need to learn to trust ourselves more than we currently do.
How many things or decisions do you approach in your life more from fear than confidence? The less we believe in ourselves the more we will struggle with choices, decisions, and every day situations that challenges us in a myriad of ways to cope to the best of our abilities.
What many people may not realize or consciously be aware of in the living of life is that taking it one moment at a time is truly a gift that you can give yourself. If you try to think too far ahead, or if you focus on the past you increase many fold the stress that you will feel.
This stress can impede your believing in yourself. When you believe in yourself you can and will cope. Sometimes we don’t know how we are going to cope with certain stresses and challenges in our lives. Believing that we can cope, however, is the key to actually coping effectively.
Believing in yourself requires loving kindness. You deserve and need your own love and trust. If you think negatively or live out of a fear-based place you rob yourself of each and every unfolding moment that comes to give you a newer and richer sense of all that can be positive in the moment.
Live moment to moment with the belief that you can cope and you do know what you need and you can learn to meet your needs if you aren’t already meeting them. Be mindful of your boundaries also.
Believing in yourself is a positive life-giving gift that you can give yourself in this moment and each unfolding moment to come. Treasure that. Know that you deserve that.
Ask not what can go wrong. Do not give your energy to the negative. Focus on the positive. Be excited about your life. Believe in yourself and the way the you view the world will be much more positive. The way that you relate to others will also be much more positive.
Believing in yourself means getting honest with yourself about who you are, your strengths and weaknesses and then accepting yourself, strengths and weaknesses and all, unconditionally.
Change For The Better
By Ralph Martson
Even when it is not possible to change anything else for the better, you can always change yourself for the better. Even in the most desperate situations, when no other option is available, you always can decide upon your own attitude. Just as it is entirely possible to be miserable in even the most pleasant surroundings, so too is it possible to be positive and effective in the most difficult circumstances. Always bear in mind that your attitude is whatever you decide it is going to be.
So why would you ever want to go through so much as a single moment with a negative, defeated attitude? There is simply nothing of value that it can accomplish. On the other hand, when you choose a positive focus, even the setbacks and disappointments can end up working in your favor. For you will be open to the positive possibilities that do surely exist in those seemingly hopeless situations.
The hope is there, the way forward is there, when you make up your mind to see it and live it. When life is stubbornly negative, keep your attitude positive. When nothing else will change for the better, change your own thoughts for the better. And you’ll soon see everything else following positively along.
“Keep pushing yourself to soar higher and higher! NO dream is too big! All it takes is one person to believe, and that person is YOU!”Clarity of Possibilities
By Ralph Martson
Most of the limitations you experience are largely defined, supported and given energy by your own perceptions. Change those perceptions, genuinely raise your expectations, and the limitations will begin to melt away.
The experience of limitation is only one way, out of many possible ways you have, for relating to a particular situation. You are always free to make another choice, to relate to your circumstances in a more positive, empowering way. Though one approach may be blocked, it is only one of many possible approaches. Limitations are always finite, yet the number of positive possibilities is unlimited. Whatever is holding you back is doing so because you have accepted it as something that’s holding you back. Imagine what would happen if you accepted, with just as much certainty, the very real possibility of moving forward.
Are you looking at the world through the fog of limitation or are you seeing the bright, shining clarity of your best possibilities? The way you choose to perceive where you are can make a world of difference in where you end up going.
“As stars, we put ourselves out there and act like everything is good, everything is perfect, but we all have wounds in our life. I want people to know that we all go through stuff. And we all need support and help.” People Magazine
“Find every way to love yourself, because you’ve got all the things you need to be great. Sometimes I would be sitting next to other entertainers, and I would dim myself because I felt like I didn’t want to offend them, or they got more money than me, more record sales. What I’m saying is love yourself no matter what. Embrace your greatness.” People Magazine
Feel Like Giving Up? Watch This!
Finding Encouragement – Your True Inner Voice
By A.J. Mahari (aka Soul)
Within each of us, there are numerous voices often that compete for our attention. It can be difficult to decide which one to listen to, particularly when their messages are all quite different, sometimes conflicting, and even alluring. One voice, however, is the speaker of truth. Among all your inner voices, your true inner voice is the one which encourages you, gives you hope, and pushes you to trust and believe in yourself. Conflict within oneself is often caused by dueling voices inside of each one of us. As we move through life, we get mixed messages from the various aspects of ourselves. Some of our voices, such as the naysayer or saboteur, can speak so loudly that they drown out the voice of truth. Listening to your true inner voice – often the voice of understanding, support, and self-assurance – can help lessen and even resolve internal conflict.
If you’re looking toward the future but your faith in your ability to succeed in life is wavering, you will benefit from finding and listening to your true inner voice. You can connect with it by remaining relaxed and alert, while listening carefully. If you have trouble distinguishing your true voice from the others, meditation may be helpful. You may hear many voices as you meditate, but the one you should pay attention to is the one that speaks to you with love, understanding, and compassion. It will bolster your spirits and urge you to go after your dreams. And it will never cause confusion, remind you of past mistakes, or cause you to doubt yourself.
The more you listen to and believe in what your true inner voice is telling you about your value and your potential, the stronger that voice will become. And the more you disregard the voices that can interfere with your resolve to succeed, the quieter those voices will become. Saying no to the voices that are judgmental and make you feel ashamed will help you stop being critical of your failures and afraid of success. By finding and strengthening your true inner voice, you will be able to ignore internal conflict and pick out the one that speaks the truth.
“Whatever makes you feel more comfortable with yourself empowers you. Beauty comes from the inside.”
“I’ve always lived in the realm of ‘You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.'” People Magazine
“I think naturally pretty is the way to go. Girls should feel confident in themselves without having to alter anything.” Elle MagazineHow Are You Feeling?
Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.
After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.
It helps so much to reach out.
ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.
ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.
Abandoned
Accomplished
Adequate
Adamant
Affectionate
Afraid
Alone
Ambivalent
Angry
Annoyed
Anxious
Apathetic
Astounded
Attractive
Awed
Bad
Betrayed
Bitter
Blissful
Bold
Bored
Brave
Burdened
Calm
Capable
Captivated
Challenged
Charmed
Cheated
Cheerful
Childish
Clever
Combative
Competitive
Condemned
Confident
Confused
Conniving
Conspicuous
Contented
Contrite
Controlled
Cruel
Crushed
Deceitful
Defeated
Defiant
Delighted
Demeaned
Deserving
How Are You Feeling?
Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.
After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.
It helps so much to reach out.
ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.
ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.
How Are You Feeling?
Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.
After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.
It helps so much to reach out.
ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.
ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.
How Are You Feeling?
Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.
After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.
It helps so much to reach out.
ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.
ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.
How Are You Feeling?
Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.
After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.
It helps so much to reach out.
ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.
ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.
I’m Not Perfect
the song was written – and the video was produced by songwriter/actress, Lori Martini.
Lori chose Hey U.G.L.Y. as the charity
for this song and is recommending viewers donate to help us empower youth to put an end to bullying and feeling good enough.
At the end of the video you’ll see a cool message about Hey U.G.L.Y. from our national
spokesperson, singer/songwriter
Devyn Rush from American Idol.
Please pass this on to all of your friends –
let’s take this viral!!
FYI – This song has been featured on the
Reality TV Show, Dance Moms Miami.
When asked how Jennifer Garner would describe her high-school self she replied, “Band-geek chic. I was so not one of the pretty girls that I just bypassed insecurity and didn’t see myself as attractive at all. It was not part of my life. [But] I felt good about myself back then! That is the lucky trick. Looks weren’t a big deal in my family. I don’t think that my parents ever said, “You’re pretty,” and so we just didn’t think about it.”
People Magazine
Know You Are Special
By Collin McCarty
Never Forget
Your presence, is a present to the world.
You’re unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be, what you want it to be.
Take the days, just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You’ll make it through, whatever comes along.
Within you, are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don’t put limits on yourself.
So many dreams, are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important, to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal and your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy, than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don’t take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember, that a little love goes a long way.
Remember, that a lot . . . goes forever.
Remember, that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasures, are people . . . together.
Realize, that it’s never too late.
Do ordinary things, in an extraordinary way.
Have health, hope and happiness.
Take the time, to wish upon a star.
And don’t ever forget . . .
For even a day . . .
How very special you are.
GL
“If somebody is mean, they’re probably really not happy. If you’re having a great day, you don’t walk past someone and yell, ‘Freak!’ If you’re happy you say, ‘I love your skirt!'”
“Great things can happen when you have the courage to be yourself.” People Magazine“Not everyone is going to be kind, and not everyone is going to be respectful on social media. Sometimes those comments can get into the psyche, but I am not going to go crazy because of some keyboard warrior somewhere. That doesn’t stop me wanting to be who I am or say what I think or do the things I do. I workout and I aim for health- I don’t aim to be skinny. I’m over that sort of pressure. I just want to feel good. Yoga helps me de-stress, and meditation has helped me identify things that I need to heal from. That has made me a much happier and more confident person. I’m very proud of my journey, I’m just being myself, and that’s all I can try to do.” People Magazine
Nurture Yourself
By A. J. Mahan
Nurturing involves being gentle, kind and patient. It is the opposite of all the rushed, critical and narcissistic judgment that many impose upon each other.You cannot nurture anyone else if you cannot nurture yourself. Remember, it’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to be sad. The way that you nurture these feelings depends upon what works best for you.Take time out of each day for yourself. Nurture your self, then nurture a child, a pet, or even a plant. Giving nurture is actually a simultaneous exercise in being nurtured as well. Give and it gives back to you.Nurturing is often neglected in our hectic world. Not unlike taking time to smell the roses, nurturing requires time and energy.Whatever you can do for yourself that you find nurturing is a gift that you can give yourself today. Don’t seek nurture from without more than from within. Run your own race. Be kind to yourself.Nurture yourself in unique and creative ways because you are a unique and creative individual.
“Beauty wasn’t about getting boys to like me; it was about not conforming– in my glitter liner, I felt untouchable.” Teen Vogue Magazine
“We are all warriors in our own way, but it’s up to you whether you decide to fight or sit idly, whether you’re a part of the right cause or not. And don’t just follow everything that comes p on your phone or computer screen. Look up to something honest, strong, brave, loving and worthwhile.” Teen Vogue Magazine
“The most important thing is to find happiness. It’s not about what people think about you or how much money you have. Once you take those things away, there’s real happiness to be found”
Oprah.com
Self Love
By Dan Millman, in “Everyday Enlightenment”
One of the strangest delusions believed by many of us is that it is good to love other people but bad to love yourself.
Self-love is a beginning practice of love. From self-love we learn to love another–a parent, a pet, a friend, a partner–from family to friends, to associates, to the larger world. There’s no place like home to begin the practice of love.
Home is where the heart is, and home is generally where the hassles are, too. What better place to practice loving without reason than that place where we cannot always find a reason to love?
Self-worth
By Dan Millman in “Everyday Enlightenment”
Self-worth is not a thing; it is a perception. Just as a gymnast begins a routine with ten points and receives deductions for each mistake, so you began life with a natural, complete sense of worth. (Have you ever met an infant with self-worth issues?) But as you grow, you serve as your own judge, deducting points when you misunderstand the nature of living and learning – when you forget you are a human-in-training and that making mistakes and having slips of integrity and mediocre moments are a part of life, not unforgivable.
Stamp Out Stress
By Richard Carlson, PHD, in Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
What you want to start doing is noticing your stress early, before it gets out of hand. When you feel your mind moving too quickly, its time to back off and regain your bearings. When your schedule is getting out of hand, it’s a signal that it’s time to slow down and reevaluate what’s important rather than power through everything on the list.
When you’re feeling out of control and resentful of all you have to do, rather than roll up your sleeves and get to it, a better strategy is to relax, take a few deep breaths, and go for a short walk. You’ll find that when you catch yourself getting too stressed out early, before it gets out of control our stress will be like the proverbial snowball rolling down the hill. When its small, it’s manageable and easy to control. Once it gathers momentum, however, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to stop.
Stop All The Competition
By A.J. Mahari
Competition… is everywhere these days. It is one of the root causes of conflict – everyday conflict, all the way up to warfare between countries. In our lives we often may find that we have competing interests, wants, needs and/or desires. Friends compete with each other. Who will look the best? Who is the thinnest? Who can be seen as the most successful and so on. There is even competition for our values, morals and beliefs.
We are saturated by media. They are all competing to take our money — not to help us out in any way. Why is there so much competition? What has happened to the co-operative spirit? Each of us has to assess for him/herself, in his/her life, what amount of competition is acceptable and what they are willing to sacrifice in the name of competition. Not all competition is bad but too often it gets out of hand. Real learning can only come about when the competitive spirit has ceased. It is then, and only then that we truly seek to learn.
“I don’t like to talk about negative things unless I can bring light to it in some way,” Summer says, “Life is too short to get caught up in negativity.” GL
“Everybody was laughing because of my drab appearance, but when they dug deeper, they realized that this woman had a hidden talent- and that talent came through in a surprising way. You shouldn’t ever be held back by what people think of you.” Parade Magazine“My story is not one I could’ve ever expected. I never thought I’d have to loose everything to gain even more. But I lost my spot and I gained a husband who roots for me, a beautiful baby boy who looks at me like I am his entire world. Two and a half years ago when I walked out of that NBC building, I was in a fog, not knowing that so many of us lose things we think are important, and we have no idea that something better is right there. I’m from the South, and there’s a saying: “It’s not a setback; it’s a setup for something else.” That loss set me up for, yes, a dream job but also my baby, my husband, my family. I just couldn’t see it coming.” People Magazine
“If I had to give my younger self some advice, it would be that you have to laugh at things. You have to laugh at things that scare you, things that intimidate you, and things that hurt you. You have to laugh when you’re humiliated, when you’re rejected. Maybe not immediately, but at a certain point, you have to be able to turn whatever bad experience you’ve had into a funny dinner party joke.” People Magazine“To remember that comparison is a threat to joy. We tend to move through life comparing ourselves to others, and it’s anti-creative and pointless.”
“If you’ve found something you love to do, listen to your heart, not to judgmental idiots who are too scared to chase their dreams. Cosmo Magazine
What Makes You Happy?
By Fr. Anthony DeMello S.J., in “The Way to Love”
You stupidly squander so much energy trying to rearrange the world. If changing the world is your vocation in life, go right ahead and change it, but do not harbor the illusion that this is going to make you happy. What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head. As well as search for an eagle’s nest on the bed of an ocean, as search for happiness in the world outside of you.
So if it is happiness that you seek you can stop wasting your energy trying to cure your baldness, or build up an attractive body, or change your residence or job or community or lifestyle or even your personality.Do you realize that you could change every one of these things, you could have the finest looks and the most charming personality and the most pleasant of surroundings and still be unhappy?
If you want to add to this list, email PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org and we’ll post your wisdom to our site.