“I am gonna feel strong with what I know and I’m just going to be brave and I’m just going to be me.” -Unapologetic

“I started by making gratitude lists. I write down, using pen and paper, 20 things I’m grateful for. I repeat many of the same things, but every time I write down those people or things (my husband Ben, my health, our children, our future grandchildren, my career, our homes, my friends, hot baths, nourishing food) my heart warms and my whole energy expands. The trick is to be honest about what I’m truly grateful for and not to force things. It’s okay if all I can muster is ‘this bed, this glass of wine, this Planet Earth series,’ as long as I’m telling my truth. After we lost the pregnancy, I started doing positive self-talk out loud to myself. I talked directly to my body. ‘It’s okay,’ I said. ‘Thank you,’ I said, ‘for growing beautiful Ella.’ And as I thought of her, for the first time in days I started welling up with gratitude. ‘I trust we will do this again,’ I said as I remembered that about a fifth of all pregnancies don’t make it all the way. ‘You have a natural wisdom,’ I said, and my body does; I could feel it in my bones. Putting my hands on my head, I said, ‘I love you.’

Moving my hands to my face, I repeated, ‘I love you.’ I covered my arms, my belly, my butt, my legs, down my whole body, and ended at the tips of my toes, ‘I love you.’ And by the end of the exercise, I felt better. I felt connected to my body. I felt love for my body. I started doing this exercise every day, and my physical and mental well-being improved greatly. Then I started doing ‘the talk’ in the shower and it became a habit. You can apply this exercise to anything, whether you’re recovering from an injury or connecting with yourself after a lifetime of body-mind conflict. It’s about being in communication with yourself and appreciating what you have.” -People

“You don’t need to act a certain way so that people like you. You should love your self and everyone else will fall in love.”

“Whenever you find yourself being critical of yourself or judgmental of yourself, it’s the same criticism and judgementalness that these parts of your personality apply to other people in different circumstances. So challenge it in yourself.” -Help Desk

“I wish I had not been so timid or afraid. I wish I had known not to worry about what other people think at all because people don’t think about you for very long…. they think about themselves.”

“Trauma is usually about a victim trying to make amends for the perpetrator. The most important thing is to give it to yourself. As vulnerable, As scared, As angry, As frozen as you were and forgive yourself for all the ways you have tried to survive. So just take care of that. Just learn to forgive yourself from all the things you have done in order to survive. That’s a big job.” -Cracked Up Documentary

“Deep down we all still have that kid in us and there is no reason why that kid can’t be a superhero or a Lizzo… So, if you are like 4-year-old me and you are sitting at home watching this thinking that maybe you’ll love yourself one day and that you can finally be someone here, stop doing that and start living yourself right now. It will change your life and that will change the world I guarantee that.” -MTV Awards

“My mom pulled me out of a school where I was one of only a few black students (I was being bullied because of my race) and switched me to a predominantly black school. Problem solved? Not exactly. Suddenly, I was being mocked and harrassed not because I was a minority, but because of my darker skin tone. That’s when I realized what colorism truly was: being belittled based on the specific shade of your skin. I was called names like ‘burnt biscuit’ and told that I’ve ‘been in the oven too long’  by classmates who were lighter than me. Those were hurtful ways of saying that I was too dark and therefore not as ‘pretty’ as a light-skinned black girl or an actual white girl. Because, I learned even black people have been historically conditioned to idolize white beauty standards. It was especially painful because I thought we were supposed to uplift each other. I thought I was in a safe space with my peers. But I could still feel the sting of racist attacks and taunting bringing me down. My grandmother from Louisiana, so she’s always coming up with fun and clever ways to phrase her feelings. When she first told my sister and me to ‘flex in our complexions,’ I didn’t realize how important her message was. But after being teased for so long, it sunk and it has been a part of me ever since.

You’ll find colorism in unfair treatment in the school system (dark-skinned girls are three times more likely to be suspended from school than our lighter-skinned peers). It pains me to see so many young black queens and kings trying to dim their own light because they feel pressure to conform to what the world has told them is beautiful. But I see that changing, and I’m going to be part of that change. I hope you’ll join me. I want you to know that if you feel different, or anything less than proud of your complexion, you need now, more than ever to find your allies and stand by each other’s side.” – GL

“There are societal signals all around us telling us that there is something wrong with some parts of us. I thought about what are the messages that I’m giving myself, and how do I light up for myself? So today when I’m looking at the mirror, I still see what’s wrong, but I try to push those thoughts out and say, ‘Wow, you are healthy. Look at your skin, your smile.’ I try to start my day a little more kind.” -People

“I’m no longer trying to be perfect. I was living my wildest dreams. But inside I was hurting. I was photographed and commented on constantly. I’d always been pretty confident, but it was a knock to my self-esteem. So much of my life was out of control. So I controlled my eating, my exercise everything I possibly could. I felt like I had to make myself perfect to really deserve all of this wonderful success. I didn’t realize I had depression. It was such a relief knowing it had a name; I can be helped and I can get better. I don’t really like to take pharmaceuticals, and I would go, ‘Oh my God, I’m taking antidepressants’. But there have been low times when they’ve really helped me.” -People

“You have to take everything people say with a grain of salt and just be you. And slow down, because everyone’s so quick right now. People just don’t stop. You’ve got to chill.” -cosmopolitan

“As a human being, I’m constantly evolving and growing, and I’m going to have insecurities. To embrace our emotions and share with other people, we all feel less alone in our struggles. What makes me most happy is being with the people that I love and just knowing that being who I am is enough. Because I know I can take that anywhere.” -People

“Yesterday I saw pictures of me at Julliard, and all I could think was I wasted so much time feeling like I was ugly. My husband said, ‘ V, if I’d met you back in the day, we would have been together 40-something years!'” -People

“I have had to fight so hard just to be myself. I’m comfortable in my skin. I don’t want to dress, sing, or think like someone else. Say yes to things that challenge you and push you further as an artist.” -InSTYLE

“I have to forgive myself for the things that I did that I’m not proud of, the choices that I made that worked against me. Self-love is really about boundaries. Learning what you’re comfortable with and putting up the boundaries, not being afraid of the consequences. Knowing that in taking care of yourself, everything will turn out okay, that people will treat you the way you want to be treated and your life will feel good to you.” -Vogue

“I don’t think you need a lot of products to feel clean and beautiful. We all want to be attractive to somebody, and it doesn’t have to take so much. It’s interesting what sticks around in your head when you think about beauty. Because when you’re going on a date or out to the movies and you’re seeing your crush, you think about what you’re going to look like. It’s never as good in person, but you still feel beautiful anyway. When you love somebody, you just don’t see what they look like. You don’t pay attention.” -ALLURE

“Another thing I remember was I was so eager to clear the negative people. Any negative people or toxic energy, I was like, ‘They gotta go!’ Between what I was actually taking into my body and what I was energetically taking into my body, I remember that it was a huge catalyst to starting to have better skin. That’s where this idea of ‘soul care’ started to dawn on me and make sense. In so many ways our confidence truly does affect how we appear to others and to ourselves and how we walk in the world what you bring with you, your spirit and your energy. We talk about skin care and hair care and nail care and body care and all the cares, but we never talk about soul care, and that’s what makes you the most beautiful. When I’m lighting a candle I always set an intention. In my head I’ll just say, Today, I’m going to feel more joy than I ever felt. If it’s in the evening, Tonight, I will relax completely and let everything go that’s worrying me. I really learned how to believe in things like that. That’s something I didn’t know for a long time because I was always trying to hold things in or protect myself or not give away too much. I didn’t realize in a lot of ways I was not being clear about what it was I needed. If I’ve had a hard day, or hard week, or I’m feeling extra judgmental or dealing with a lot, I will set the intention, Today, I’m going to have ultimate clarity about what I need. You can make an intention and ask for whatever you need to receive.”  -ALLURE

“When I was getting started in acting, my coaches gave me some advice that’s been important in every single aspect of my life. They said all I needed was to embrace the real me. As an actress, that led me to opening up about my ASD with the world, but it’s advice that applies to everything we do. No matter who you are, or what you want to do in life, embracing the real you is the first step to making your dreams come true. When you’re true to yourself with people who really believe in your potential anything is possible. I’m proof.” -GL

“I didn’t feel beautiful, like for real, not just ‘Hey, I’m pretty’ but actually believing in it until about 2016. If you’ve been beat down mentally by someone, you’re never pretty enough. Nothing’s ever good enough. It’s not just the hairstyles and the clothing and the skin. It’s how I reinvent myself through trials and perseverance. Am I going to quit? No, I’m going to go to the next level because change is hard. But people see me come out and they think, ‘It’s just her skin or her hair.’ No, it’s her. It’s me. I’m really choosing to be a better, stronger person. During Mudbound and when I was married, I was feeling so low. I had to pay myself the highest compliments, even if I didn’t believe it, just so I could build myself up. I would do it in the morning, because that’s the time when your hair is not done and you don’t have on makeup. You’re just kind of dealing with yourself  for real. Good morning, gorgeous. I love you. I got you. I need you.” -People

“The fact that people don’t think what they say affects a celebrity because you’re not a person to them is crazy. I’m a human being. I want to f***ing defend myself. The fact that I’m like, ‘Should I have not worn that?’ No, I do what I want to do, and I make what I want to make, and if I’m now starting to be afraid of what other people are going to say or think, I’m no longer doing my job as an artist. I’m not experiencing the world and putting that into art. I’m walking on eggshells. F*** that. So, I needed to take a minute” – ELLE 

“Don’t let anyone’s perception of you be your perception of yourself.” -ALLURE

“I start my day with a series of positive affirmations: ‘I am grateful.’ Your body and mind believe everything you tell them, so I focus on say all the right things! One of my favorite self-care rituals is using my jade roller and gua sha tools. I keep them in the refrigerator to help cool and depuff my skin.” -People

“Being able to say you are a conscious, responsible human being is more important than losing 5 pounds or having abs. Women are tired of being told what they should look like. It’s time to normalize normalness. And I want to create that safe and honest space for people to feel good about themselves.” -InSTYLE

“I’m a big reader, and I’m really big on investigating myself, who I really am. What brings me peace is when I get very still and get in alignment with myself. In that space, I feel like everything is okay. I’m trying to not operate out of fear anymore. I spent a lot of time in fear, so I’m just trying to operate and trust. I feel more clear on who I am and what I want.” -People

“…being a loving parent to myself. My most important goal is to enjoy my life. Have fun, love yourself. Eat a delicious meal, get great sleep, hang out with people you love. It’s so much more fulfilling than trying so hard to be somewhere in your career.” -People

“To relax while I’m touring, I eat. Healthy and delicious food is the most important thing after concerts for me. I also take a bath and I nap. And sometimes I look up funny clips on YouTube.” -Cosmopolitan 

“Taking the time to find your own identity and joy. I love going on walks in the hills or on the beach. When I’m surrounded by nature, it allows me to reconnect with both myself and the world around me.” -People

“When you feel bad about yourself, go and give to others, I feel really strongly that this is a big moment to say ‘Nobody is alone.’ ‘Then you anchor yourself. I felt really strange this morning. I was out of control in my head. I was tired The first thing is to be really honest: ‘How do I feel right this second?’ Once you work out how you feel, you realize you must shine light on it. Then you anchor yourself. So I went and did an hour of step-ups. Just on the staircase. I didn’t go to the gym. I didn’t put on my leotard. And I watch Little House on the Prairie for the escapism. I got my heartbeat going. Then I rang a friend. Then the next thing is to realize that everyone else has insecurities too.”  -People

“Living in a foreign country taught me as an adult to ask questions and be inquisitive about why I feel like I don’t fit in, and where should I fit in? Where do I want to be? It gave me a sense of needing to find my place and figure out who I was. I guess I learned to anchor myself in my personality and the essence of who I was, rather than attaching myself to an external structure. I was always quite shy growing up. I remember choosing clothes and then second-guessing myself, saying ‘Oh no, it’s too this or it’s too that or it’s too sexy, or you’re not giving off the right impression.’ And I realized that for a long time, I was using fashion to hide aspects of myself, and now I don’t care. I want to express myself in the way I want to express myself. I always thought you had to have one style, and I could never do that. One minute I was a tomboy, then I was super elegant, everyday was different. And now I fully embrace that I enjoy fashion much more.” -ELLE

“You really grow into who you are the longer you get to live. I understand mental health so much more. We all have negative conversations going on in our heads, but you have to take the wheel back, and I definitely did. I’ve faced my past and found love and compassion for myself.” -People

“I enjoyed being different people because I always struggled with self-identity and knowing who I was. Even as a young person, I always felt like I didn’t quite belong in every room I was in. I also struggle with loneliness a bit. I always felt quite alone in a crowded room, like I was just one of a kind, like nobody ever really understood me. So I liked playing characters that people understood and people could relate to because I felt like no one could relate to Millie. It’s really hard to be hated on when you don’t know who you are yet. So it’s like, ‘What do they hate about me? Cause I don’t know who I am.’ Young girls deserve an education. Young people everywhere deserve equal rights. You deserve to love the people that you want to love. Be the people that you want to be and achieve the dreams that you want to achieve. That’s my message.”

“I don’t focus on what people say about me, even when I’m filming. I occasionally think, ‘Oh, why didn’t I hold my tummy in?’ but it doesn’t last because I was trying to be something other than I am, which would make me feel even more uncomfortable. The shape of your body, that’s where the flesh settles, isn’t it? You can’t do an awful lot about that.” -People

“Life is hard; you’ll hear a lot of noes. But keep loving yourself. It all works out in the end.” -People

“Life has valleys and peaks, and so many things are always challenging. But I’m always working towards becoming a better me. As you hit puberty, people start looking at you in a different way. And people can be mean. I dealt with all of that. I said, ‘Dana you’re either going to hate yourself or you’re going to love yourself.’ And I decided at that moment I’m going to love myself.” -People 

Fox hopes to, “Genuinely appreciate and love me for who I am and not worry about being who I’m supposed to be for other people.” -US MAGAZINE

“In the beginning of my career, I was so worried about messing up that I missed a lot of great moments because I was so stressed out. I’m at a point in my life now where I know having a first time at something is remarkable like that it’s the only time it ever happens. And being in a place where I could enjoy it felt like a really positive development. I have worked too hard in seeing myself with kinder eyes to give away my peace to those who haven’t found it for themselves yet. So I do my best to not be afraid of what others might say and just focus on enjoying my life.” -ELLE

“If I could delete social media, I would. You’ve got to be able to manage the impact that it’s having on you and realize how much time you’re spending on it or what it’s done to your brain because it’s scary how addictive it can be. I just want to be a well-rounded human and learn as much as I can about the world around me so that, possibly, I can contribute my voice or help create some change in areas of the world that need it. I never want my life to be appearance based. I truly want it to be just feeling-based. I think getting older will be less and less about trying to look a certain way and more about what makes me happy at the end of the day. I want to feel like I’m taking care of my body and giving it what it needs. Learning to give myself a break and relax, that’s what I need to learn how to do. How to stop thinking so much about what I look like at times because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. That’s not what life should ever be about. We’re on this planet for such a small blip of time and I just want to make sure it’s a good time at that.” -ALLURE

“I try not to read comments because no matter what you do, you’re never going to please everybody. I can work my a** off to put work out there that I’m proud of and that I hope people will connect with, but there are always going to be some people who don’t like me or have a problem with me or think I’m stupid or ugly or whatever. At the end of the day, what really matters to me is what my family and friends and loved ones think of me.” ELLE

“Young people need to know that their dreams are possible. If you squelch a young person’s creativity, you’ve done them a great disservice. I think children really just need to be told that there’s nothing wrong with them, and that they do need their creativity. Their imagination is what’s going to save them. Quite frankly, it’s what’s going to save us. So don’t let anybody tell you that your imagination is not worthy of manifesting.” -People

“I let go of the things that don’t make me happy. Then you have more room for the things that do. I just follow my heart and my gut. What’s most interesting to me is doing things that I have no idea how to do. I’m not afraid to look stupid. You learn along the way.” -People

“Growing up, I was self-conscious about my freckles and my body since I was teased about them in the last year, I’ve really come into my own. You don’t have to be a certain size or look a certain way to be considered beautiful.” InSTYLE

“I drink a lot of water and try to eat a lot of vegetables to keep my skin as healthy as possible. I embrace my age with gratitude, and I don’t worry about having makeup on. My joy comes from within.” -People

“There is no such thing as a classic beauty. Beauty takes on so many different forms, in different times and depending on the nation. It’s just about being confident, loving yourself, and understanding your value.” -InSTYLE

“Right now, there’s beauty in me having the time, even in this pandemic, to be still, to disconnect from the rest of the world, to journal. It’s just me getting to know myself, spending time with myself. I love being in my natural state. I have braids right now. Typically my hair would be pretty manipulated, a lot of brushing, half up, half down, extensions. But I’m in a season of being. I think I’m just discovering who I am, to be quite honest. And it’s not me in contest with anybody else; it’s me in competition with myself.” -ALLURE

“Gratitude is probably the thing that saved my life, because if I did not find that, I would have wallowed in my own sadness and probably just jumped. It was important for me to be broken so that I could find my wholeness in a whole different way… than just living my lifelike a thirsty pop star. I just wake up and I say, ‘Thank you, God, for today. I am grateful in every way.” -People

“I remember seeing a magazine cover that said, ‘This Is What Beauty Looks Like’ and not seeing any minorities on it. It made me question my beauty. Janet Jackson made me feel seen. Whitney Houston made me feel seen. Because their beauty was so taken in worldwide, it made me feel like there is a space for me. I remember the first time a fan said, ‘I’m you when we play Destiney’s Child because we look the same.’ And this girl was the same complexion as me, and that made me so happy because there’s nothing like feeling seen and being heard. The hardest part of my journey was cutting negative voices off and those negative voices were mostly the ones that I was inflicting upon myself. When I did my 2002 duet ‘Dilemma’ I was super scared. That was really the first time I got a taste of solo success. It felt overwhelming for me at the time. In retrospect, I don’t remember feeling like I deserved that. Which goes back to valuing yourself and your opinion and your greatness. You have  to surround yourself with people who believe that and who believe it when you can’t see it. There’s black art all around my house. I am like, ‘There can’t be any identity crisis in this house!’ Because I remember that was a big thing for me as a kid. I didn’t see enough people around on the walls or anything that looked like me. A week ago I heard my husband giving Titan a bath, and he goes, ‘Daddy, I am black and handsome and great.’ It really means a lot to us for him to know his roots and who he is.” -People

“You should always be yourself. You can look to things for inspiration, but you should be owning what you’re doing. It should be your own. You should never feel apologetic about it. My mother was very healthy, drinking lots of water and eating vegetables. When I got to junior high, where you could buy your lunch, I began drinking soda. I broke out, and my mother said it was from soda. I stopped drinking it and never had breakouts again until I was 30 and got adult acne.” – InSTYLE

“So many of us have a dream we have hidden, something we have kept secret. We think it will make us unlovable, that it will ruin the image of who we are. Instead, you discover that you can love yourself, and love who you are.” -People

“Being my fullest self without apology. For so long my voice was the thing I was most ashamed of, and now it is the thing I’m most proud of. It is a power no one can take away from me.” InSTYLE

“Whenever I’m having a bad day, I like to get my favorite snacks, listen to some music and focus on the positive stuff in my life. It really tunes out that negative energy.”  -GL

“I think beauty is in knowing who you are and loving all aspects of who you are.” -People

“When I hit 25, I read a book by Louis Hay, You Can Heal Your Life. It taught me about self-love, about looking in the mirror, in your eyeballs. This book was saying, just look into your eyeballs and tell yourself that you love and approve of yourself. The first time I did it, I cried really hard because I don’t think I really did love or approve of myself. And as I took on this practice and did it on a regular basis, it was like my life started to slowly change into what I thought I wanted. I really started to recognize my actual beauty and slowly became confident. I had a certain level of confidence that was deniable. And now I’ve nurtured myself like I wish my mother would have all those years ago. I just turned 21 for the 19th time. One of my goals was always to walk into a room and project happiness, elevate the room within 10-foot radius of where my body is there’s joy and happiness around there. -Allure

“You make everyday a special special day just by being you, and I like you just the way you are.” -People

“My disability makes me inspirational to others. My advice is to always be yourself and never give up on your hopes and dreams. I never get upset or sad. I’m always happy and bright and bubbly and a bit cheeky. I am like no other person. I’m just myself. And I’ve made history.” -Allure

“I really struggle with wanting to give everybody everything all the time. One of the things that I’ve learned recently is you have to do what makes you feel good, not what other people tell you should make you feel good. If you spend little time you have off only doing things out of obligation, your soul suffers from it.” -InStyle

“Someone once told me that I give people space to be themselves, and that made me feel so special. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be who you are. Don’t let people judge. No one else can tell you how to be you.” -GL

“The way you see the world is the reflection of what you have built in your life. Think about what hurts you the most and heal it. You have that power. The next chapter of my life is about truly being good with being alone.” -Vogue

“I’ve always tried to be my authentic self. I was a little quirky growing up. I was a bit of a smart aleck, quick to joke. I never thought I was particularly pretty. I certainly have no discernible talents. It’s not like I can sing. I can dance a little bit. But I am very much my own creation. I’ve always felt that my individuality was important.” -People

“I’m proud of my heart, and I like my eyes! I used to look at myself and feel not pretty enough. But I think it’s natural for people to feel that way sometimes. You feel like you have to look a certain way or be a certain way, but that’s not the case. This line is a way for me to be a part of a beauty community and say, I’m practicing and I’m learning, and you can too.” -People

“Growing up I never felt that I fit in. I was bullied a lot at school. But now, as an adult, I realize that the things that make me different are the best parts about me and they’re the things that I should celebrate.” -The Voice

“Be yourself. You are far more interesting than anything anyone wants you to be.” – GL

“My mom is a girl from New York, and my dad is a strong, sturdy Dutchman. I grew up with dual citizenship, and I still don’t have a grasp on American beauty standards. It used to be about having blonde hair, blue eyes, skinny-girl stuff, but now it’s like if you are true to yourself and an individual, you’re beautiful. As a girl who’s happiest in an oversize T-shirt and seawater in my hair, I’m pleased with that.” -Allure

“American beauty for me is very much about that transformation from something you are into something you dream of being. Hollywood invented the movie star, which takes a person from normalcy and makes them into something extraordinary. You take whatever ingredients you have and make what you want to be.” -Allure

“I’m a bohemian type of person, but to me [American beauty] is being a strong-minded human who makes her own decisions-being able to plan your own life and live to please anyone but yourself.” -Allure

“The strongest people I’ve met have not been given an easier life. They’ve learned to create strength and happiness from dark places.” -People

“‘Learning to REALLY truly love yourself is it, and I’ve only just realized that that is more than enough.” -People

“What remain a through line in each and every project-and any world that I occupy-is that I want there to be a greater purpose. That purpose may be as simple as providing joy or it may be helping in the field of equity or amplifying other people’s voices. But my metric for success is having an impact on something greater than myself.” -Glamour

“A healthy amount of fear is a good thing. Let it drive you.” -Glamour

“To remind students every day they are worthy, that they are beautiful.” -People

“My father always told me, ‘If you are blessed, then it’s your job to go out to the world and bless someone else.'” -People

“You can always put on a pretty dress, but it doesn’t matter what you wear on the outside if your mind isn’t strong enough. There is nothing more attractive-you might even say enchanting-than a woman with an independent will and her own opinions.” -Elle 

“Who we are meant to be in life is something we all have to work out for ourselves. I think we can often go offtrack as women, because our instinct is to nurture or to adjust ourselves to society’s expectations. It can be hard to take the time to ask ourselves who we truly want to be- not what we think people will approve of or accept, but who we really are. But when you listen to yourself, you can make the choice to step forward and learn and change.” -Elle 

“In the beginning of my career, I handled rejection by personalizing it. For me, people were just cementing what I felt like I already knew about myself: that I wasn’t attractive.” -People 

“If I could tell my 13-year-old self anything, I would tell he that she was enough. I wasted so much time listening to the naysayers. An I just wish I had listened to the other voices of people saying that I was beautiful and talented. I always thought that when you listen to that you were conceited, but I wish I had listened to that more. I wish I has pranced through the world with just hoity-toity confidence and overexuberance.” -People 

“I’m definitely teaching Genesis that beauty is within. I mean, we have got to get past physical beauty, selfies, even though I’ve taken a selfie in my day. But I always say, ‘Genesis, your heart and your head are the two most important parts of you.’ The physical falls away. The things that you can take with you that really are of value have nothing to do with the physical.” -People 

“Your head is telling you lies, don’t believe them, you know the truth-and you’re beautiful, from the inside out. And the inside is actually what matters most.” -People

“You learn more from failing than you do from succeeding. It’s important to befriend failure; it’s not pleasant, and it’s painful, but it’s necessary to grow. I wish everyone a manageable failure at one point in life. You learn about grit and how to pull yourself out of a tough situation. Then, hopefully, you get things that are good.” -AARP

“Not everyone is going to be kind, and not everyone is going to be respectful on social media. Sometimes those comments can get into the psyche, but I am not going to go crazy because of some keyboard warrior somewhere. That doesn’t stop me wanting to be who I am or say what I think or do the things I do.  I workout and I aim for health- I don’t aim to be skinny. I’m over that sort of pressure. I just want to feel good. Yoga helps me de-stress, and meditation has helped me identify things that I need to heal from. That has made me a much happier and more confident person. I’m very proud of my journey, I’m just being myself, and that’s all I can try to do.” People Magazine

“I don’t like to talk about negative things unless I can bring light to it in some way,” Summer says, “Life is too short to get caught up in negativity.” GL

“I often tell my daughters that the most important thing they can do is to develop their minds. You can always put on a pretty dress, but it doesn’t matter what you wear on the outside if your mind isn’t strong.”

“I’ve always lived in the realm of ‘You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.'”  People Magazine

“Find every way to love yourself, because you’ve got all the things you need to be great. Sometimes I would be sitting next to other entertainers, and I would dim myself because I felt like I didn’t want to offend them, or they got more money than me, more record sales. What I’m saying is love yourself no matter what. Embrace your greatness.”  People Magazine

“As stars, we put ourselves out there and act like everything is good, everything is perfect, but we all have wounds in our life. I want people to know that we all go through stuff. And we all need support and help.”  People Magazine

“To remember that comparison is a threat to joy. We tend to move through life comparing ourselves to others, and it’s anti-creative and pointless.”

“My story is not one I could’ve ever expected. I never thought I’d have to loose everything to gain even more. But I lost my spot and I gained a husband who roots for me, a beautiful baby boy who looks at me like I am his entire world. Two and a half years ago when I walked out of that NBC building, I was in a fog, not knowing that so many of us lose things we think are important, and we have no idea that something better is right there. I’m from the South, and there’s a saying: “It’s not a setback; it’s a setup for something else.” That loss set me up for, yes, a dream job but also my baby, my husband, my family. I just couldn’t see it coming.” People Magazine

When asked how Jennifer Garner would describe her high-school self she replied, “Band-geek chic. I was so not one of the pretty girls that I just bypassed insecurity and didn’t see myself as attractive at all. It was not part of my life. [But] I felt good about myself back then! That is the lucky trick. Looks weren’t a big deal in my family. I don’t think that my parents ever said, “You’re pretty,” and so we just didn’t think about it.”

 People Magazine

Finding Encouragement – Your True Inner Voice

By A.J. Mahari (aka Soul)

Within each of us, there are numerous voices often that compete for our attention. It can be difficult to decide which one to listen to, particularly when their messages are all quite different, sometimes conflicting, and even alluring. One voice, however, is the speaker of truth. Among all your inner voices, your true inner voice is the one which encourages you, gives you hope, and pushes you to trust and believe in yourself. Conflict within oneself is often caused by dueling voices inside of each one of us. As we move through life, we get mixed messages from the various aspects of ourselves. Some of our voices, such as the naysayer or saboteur, can speak so loudly that they drown out the voice of truth. Listening to your true inner voice – often the voice of understanding, support, and self-assurance – can help lessen and even resolve internal conflict.

If you’re looking toward the future but your faith in your ability to succeed in life is wavering, you will benefit from finding and listening to your true inner voice. You can connect with it by remaining relaxed and alert, while listening carefully. If you have trouble distinguishing your true voice from the others, meditation may be helpful. You may hear many voices as you meditate, but the one you should pay attention to is the one that speaks to you with love, understanding, and compassion. It will bolster your spirits and urge you to go after your dreams. And it will never cause confusion, remind you of past mistakes, or cause you to doubt yourself.

The more you listen to and believe in what your true inner voice is telling you about your value and your potential, the stronger that voice will become. And the more you disregard the voices that can interfere with your resolve to succeed, the quieter those voices will become. Saying no to the voices that are judgmental and make you feel ashamed will help you stop being critical of your failures and afraid of success. By finding and strengthening your true inner voice, you will be able to ignore internal conflict and pick out the one that speaks the truth.

Know You Are Special

By Collin McCarty

Never Forget
Your presence, is a present to the world.
You’re unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be, what you want it to be.
Take the days, just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You’ll make it through, whatever comes along.
Within you, are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don’t put limits on yourself.
So many dreams, are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important, to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal and your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy, than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don’t take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember, that a little love goes a long way.
Remember, that a lot . . . goes forever.
Remember, that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasures, are people . . . together.
Realize, that it’s never too late.
Do ordinary things, in an extraordinary way.
Have health, hope and happiness.
Take the time, to wish upon a star.
And don’t ever forget . . .
For even a day . . .
How very special you are.

I’m Not Perfect

the song was written – and the video was produced by songwriter/actress, Lori Martini.

Lori chose Hey U.G.L.Y. as the charity
for this song and is recommending viewers donate to help us empower youth to put an end to bullying and feeling good enough.

At the end of the video you’ll see a cool message about Hey U.G.L.Y. from our national
spokesperson, singer/songwriter
Devyn Rush from American Idol.

Please pass this on to all of your friends –
let’s take this viral!!
FYI – This song has been featured on the
Reality TV Show, Dance Moms Miami.

How Are You Feeling?

Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.

After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.

It helps so much to reach out.

ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.

ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.

Abandoned
Accomplished
Adequate
Adamant
Affectionate
Afraid
Alone
Ambivalent
Angry
Annoyed
Anxious
Apathetic
Astounded
Attractive
Awed
Bad
Betrayed
Bitter
Blissful
Bold
Bored
Brave
Burdened

Calm
Capable
Captivated
Challenged
Charmed
Cheated
Cheerful
Childish
Clever
Combative
Competitive
Condemned
Confident
Confused
Conniving
Conspicuous
Contented
Contrite
Controlled
Cruel
Crushed

Deceitful
Defeated
Defiant
Delighted
Demeaned
Deserving

How Are You Feeling?

Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.

After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.

It helps so much to reach out.

ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.

ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.

How Are You Feeling?

Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.

After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.

It helps so much to reach out.

ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.

ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.

How Are You Feeling?

Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.

After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.

It helps so much to reach out.

ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.

ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.

How Are You Feeling?

Ever have someone tell you to get in touch with your feelings? Well sometimes it can be hard to identify what’s going on inside of you. So, we found this cool list of feelings to help us all get to the bottom of what’s going inside of us.
Once a day print out the list of feelings and hi-lite all the feelings you felt that day. Do this each day for one week. Make sure you go to our Self-Esteem Tips pages too. They will help you get in touch with your inner voice. Some of the tips deal with how to believe in yourself. Other tips explore things like: why anger is necessary; how to avoid complainers; and, how to stop all the competition.

After one week if you see your feelings getting happier stay on that path. If you notice that your feelings are staying stuck or are sad and depressed, tell a friend, a parent, a counselor … someone you can trust. Most of our friends and the trusted adults we know have been through times of sadness or despair. Hearing their advice on how they overcame what we’re going through can help a lot. If you are like a lot of us, you may even feel like you are totally alone in your pain and confusion. But, in fact, millions of people go through tough times. Getting through tough times really do make us stronger. Getting through the tough times also enable us to be able to help others who are going through it. We can actually help our friends because we know what it feels like to be in the sh*! and how great it feels to have made it through.

It helps so much to reach out.

ADVICE: Don’t let other people control how you feel. You have the power within you to find joy and happiness. It helps if you hang with friends who are happy. Stay away from those that thrive on drama, anger and acting out.

ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: Do you want to be happy or is there something inside of you that likes being sad?

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY. What brings you joy? Email your advice for finding joy to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org. We’ll share your wisdom on with youth all over the world.

Feel Like Giving Up? Watch This!

Change For The Better

By Ralph Martson

Even when it is not possible to change anything else for the better, you can always change yourself for the better. Even in the most desperate situations, when no other option is available, you always can decide upon your own attitude. Just as it is entirely possible to be miserable in even the most pleasant surroundings, so too is it possible to be positive and effective in the most difficult circumstances. Always bear in mind that your attitude is whatever you decide it is going to be.

So why would you ever want to go through so much as a single moment with a negative, defeated attitude? There is simply nothing of value that it can accomplish. On the other hand, when you choose a positive focus, even the setbacks and disappointments can end up working in your favor. For you will be open to the positive possibilities that do surely exist in those seemingly hopeless situations.

The hope is there, the way forward is there, when you make up your mind to see it and live it. When life is stubbornly negative, keep your attitude positive. When nothing else will change for the better, change your own thoughts for the better. And you’ll soon see everything else following positively along.

Believe In Yourself

By A.J. Mahari

Doubt is the result of fear. Second guessing ourselves often could be an indication that we need to learn to trust ourselves more than we currently do.

How many things or decisions do you approach in your life more from fear than confidence? The less we believe in ourselves the more we will struggle with choices, decisions, and every day situations that challenges us in a myriad of ways to cope to the best of our abilities.

What many people may not realize or consciously be aware of in the living of life is that taking it one moment at a time is truly a gift that you can give yourself. If you try to think too far ahead, or if you focus on the past you increase many fold the stress that you will feel.

This stress can impede your believing in yourself. When you believe in yourself you can and will cope. Sometimes we don’t know how we are going to cope with certain stresses and challenges in our lives. Believing that we can cope, however, is the key to actually coping effectively.

Believing in yourself requires loving kindness. You deserve and need your own love and trust. If you think negatively or live out of a fear-based place you rob yourself of each and every unfolding moment that comes to give you a newer and richer sense of all that can be positive in the moment.

Live moment to moment with the belief that you can cope and you do know what you need and you can learn to meet your needs if you aren’t already meeting them. Be mindful of your boundaries also.

Believing in yourself is a positive life-giving gift that you can give yourself in this moment and each unfolding moment to come. Treasure that. Know that you deserve that.

Ask not what can go wrong. Do not give your energy to the negative. Focus on the positive. Be excited about your life. Believe in yourself and the way the you view the world will be much more positive. The way that you relate to others will also be much more positive.

Believing in yourself means getting honest with yourself about who you are, your strengths and weaknesses and then accepting yourself, strengths and weaknesses and all, unconditionally.

Be Aware Of Your Thoughts

By A.J. Mahari (aka Soul)

Few people enjoy the company of individuals whose attitudes are persistently negative. Yet many of us tolerate the critical chatter that can originate within our own minds. Since we are so used to the stream of self-limiting, critical consciousness that winds its way through our thoughts, we are often unaware of the impact these musings have on our lives. It is only when we become aware of the power of such thoughts that we can divest ourselves of them and fill the emptiness they leave with loving, peaceful affirmations. Many people, upon paying careful attention to their thinking patterns, are surprised at the negativity they find there. But when we take notice of involuntary thoughts in a nonjudgmental way, we initiate a healing process that will eventually allow us to replace intimidating and upsetting self-talk with positive, empowering thoughts.

While the occasional downbeat or judgmental thought may have little impact on your contentment, the ongoing negativity that passes unnoticed can have a dampening effect on your mood and your outlook. When you are aware of the tone of your thoughts, however, you can challenge them. Try to be conscious of your feelings, opinions, and judgments for a single day. From sunup to sundown, scrutinize the messages you are feeding into your subconscious mind. Consider your thoughts from the perspective of a detached observer and try not to judge yourself based on the notions that come unbidden into your mind. Simply watch the flow of your consciousness and make a note of the number of times you find yourself focusing on gloomy notions or indulging in self-directed criticism.

As you become increasingly aware of your patterns of thought, whether positive and negative, you will gradually learn to control the character of your stream of consciousness. Endeavor always to remember that the images and ideas that pass through your mind are transient and not a true representation of who you are. In training yourself to be cognizant of your thoughts, you gain the ability to actively modulate your mood. The awareness you cultivate within yourself will eventually enable you to create a foundation of positivity from which you can build a more authentic existence.

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Avoid the Company Of Chronic Criticizers

By Terry Cole-Whittaker, in “Life Your Bliss”

Avoid the company of chronic criticizers, naysayers, prophets of doom, materialists, fearmongers, gossipers, and the fearful, envious, and angry. If you must be around these lower-frequency energies, consider it a test of your ability to hold your own and keep your mind, emotions, and words in the spiritual zone. When you can do this, you become victorious, not a victim. We must control our thoughts and words, or we are nothing more than stimulus-response machines reacting from habit and fear- and lack-based programming. Seek the highest truth and act on it, regardless of your old habits and programming. Remember that you are making new habits and these are what will now start manifesting.

Attitude Is Everything

By A.J. Mahari

We can be grumpy or we can accept where we are today and celebrate that by going with the flow. Again, central to finding peace within a more positive attitude is letting go of the things that we can’t control outside of ourselves.

It is also pointless and a source of pain to try to control ourselves too much too.

Be who you are. Help those you care about when you can. Don’t guilt yourself for not doing more. You cannot be perfect.

Acceptance will enable you to find a peaceful and adequately humble attitude that will serve you and those around you well. Never be afraid to be real. Never be afraid to show your emotions. Emotions are not a display of weakness. They are a display of courage and strength.

Attitude is everything. You can choose your attitude. Free yourself from the “shoulds” and know that what you are doing is enough. Steady as you go and a step at a time — that’s what sees the accomplishment of goals in the long run.

Choose to be giving. Choose to think the best of others while taking care of yourself. The lighter your attitude, the lighter your load.

Anger Is Necessary

By A.J. Mahari (aka Soul)

Anger, in our society today, is a much maligned emotion. Anger is, at the very least, too often thought of as or defined as not okay and/or destructive among a host of other negative descriptors. Anger is seen as a negative unwanted emotion.

It is viewed as a destroyer of love and/or as the antithesis of love. This results in anger being the most repressed emotion.

It is not being angry or feeling angry or having anger that is unhealthy. It is choosing to repress or inappropriately express or display your anger that is at the root of our culture’s issues with anger.

Anger is a healthy human emotion to feel. It is what we do with it once we feel it that matters most.

Anger is necessary if we are feeling beings. If we are able to feel anything, from time to time, anger will invariably be a part of what we feel. Anger has tremendous value. It alerts us to potential danger. It moves us into action to take care of ourselves and/or protect ourselves.

It is necessary to feel anger in order to be healthy and well-balanced.

It is not feeling angry that is negative it is the repression of anger until it implodes or explodes without rational guidance that can be destructive. It is denying the appropriate and healthy expression of our anger that can also be destructive.

When you are angry you are likely in touch with what you need in any given situation. When you are angry you likely know that something isn’t okay.

Embrace how angry you may feel at any given time.

Anger indicates that we care enough to feel and to give voice to our feelings, especially feelings of displeasure. It also clears the air so that free exchange can take place. Anger is necessary.

The right to feel and to express our anger in healthy ways is necessary if we are going to be able to feel and express compassion for ourselves and each other.

Feeling your anger and learning to appropriately express it without guilt or shame is of paramount importance to being able to be true to yourself and true with others.

Stop All The Competition

By A.J. Mahari

Competition… is everywhere these days. It is one of the root causes of conflict – everyday conflict, all the way up to warfare between countries. In our lives we often may find that we have competing interests, wants, needs and/or desires. Friends compete with each other. Who will look the best? Who is the thinnest? Who can be seen as the most successful and so on. There is even competition for our values, morals and beliefs.

We are saturated by media. They are all competing to take our money — not to help us out in any way. Why is there so much competition? What has happened to the co-operative spirit? Each of us has to assess for him/herself, in his/her life, what amount of competition is acceptable and what they are willing to sacrifice in the name of competition. Not all competition is bad but too often it gets out of hand. Real learning can only come about when the competitive spirit has ceased. It is then, and only then that we truly seek to learn.

Stamp Out Stress

By Richard Carlson, PHD, in Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

What you want to start doing is noticing your stress early, before it gets out of hand. When you feel your mind moving too quickly, its time to back off and regain your bearings. When your schedule is getting out of hand, it’s a signal that it’s time to slow down and reevaluate what’s important rather than power through everything on the list.

When you’re feeling out of control and resentful of all you have to do, rather than roll up your sleeves and get to it, a better strategy is to relax, take a few deep breaths, and go for a short walk. You’ll find that when you catch yourself getting too stressed out early, before it gets out of control our stress will be like the proverbial snowball rolling down the hill. When its small, it’s manageable and easy to control. Once it gathers momentum, however, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to stop.

Self-worth

By Dan Millman in “Everyday Enlightenment”

Self-worth is not a thing; it is a perception. Just as a gymnast begins a routine with ten points and receives deductions for each mistake, so you began life with a natural, complete sense of worth. (Have you ever met an infant with self-worth issues?) But as you grow, you serve as your own judge, deducting points when you misunderstand the nature of living and learning – when you forget you are a human-in-training and that making mistakes and having slips of integrity and mediocre moments are a part of life, not unforgivable.

Self Love

By Dan Millman, in “Everyday Enlightenment”

One of the strangest delusions believed by many of us is that it is good to love other people but bad to love yourself.

Self-love is a beginning practice of love. From self-love we learn to love another–a parent, a pet, a friend, a partner–from family to friends, to associates, to the larger world. There’s no place like home to begin the practice of love.
Home is where the heart is, and home is generally where the hassles are, too. What better place to practice loving without reason than that place where we cannot always find a reason to love?

What Makes You Happy?

By Fr. Anthony DeMello S.J., in “The Way to Love”

You stupidly squander so much energy trying to rearrange the world. If changing the world is your vocation in life, go right ahead and change it, but do not harbor the illusion that this is going to make you happy. What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head. As well as search for an eagle’s nest on the bed of an ocean, as search for happiness in the world outside of you.

So if it is happiness that you seek you can stop wasting your energy trying to cure your baldness, or build up an attractive body, or change your residence or job or community or lifestyle or even your personality.Do you realize that you could change every one of these things, you could have the finest looks and the most charming personality and the most pleasant of surroundings and still be unhappy?

Nurture Yourself

By A. J. Mahan

Nurturing involves being gentle, kind and patient. It is the opposite of all the rushed, critical and narcissistic judgment that many impose upon each other.You cannot nurture anyone else if you cannot nurture yourself. Remember, it’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to be sad. The way that you nurture these feelings depends upon what works best for you.Take time out of each day for yourself. Nurture your self, then nurture a child, a pet, or even a plant. Giving nurture is actually a simultaneous exercise in being nurtured as well. Give and it gives back to you.Nurturing is often neglected in our hectic world. Not unlike taking time to smell the roses, nurturing requires time and energy.Whatever you can do for yourself that you find nurturing is a gift that you can give yourself today. Don’t seek nurture from without more than from within. Run your own race. Be kind to yourself.Nurture yourself in unique and creative ways because you are a unique and creative individual.

Clarity of Possibilities

By Ralph Martson

Most of the limitations you experience are largely defined, supported and given energy by your own perceptions. Change those perceptions, genuinely raise your expectations, and the limitations will begin to melt away.
The experience of limitation is only one way, out of many possible ways you have, for relating to a particular situation. You are always free to make another choice, to relate to your circumstances in a more positive, empowering way. Though one approach may be blocked, it is only one of many possible approaches. Limitations are always finite, yet the number of positive possibilities is unlimited. Whatever is holding you back is doing so because you have accepted it as something that’s holding you back. Imagine what would happen if you accepted, with just as much certainty, the very real possibility of moving forward.

Are you looking at the world through the fog of limitation or are you seeing the bright, shining clarity of your best possibilities? The way you choose to perceive where you are can make a world of difference in where you end up going.

Acceptance

By Mary Manin Morrissey

The Universe holds nothing back from us. We hold back because we don’t feel we’re worthy and then we don’t let the gifts grow into their fullness because we ignore them. For instance, suppose someone pays you a compliment. How much do you really let that in? Do you fend it off right away, or acknowledge your own goodness? The next time someone shows appreciation for you or what you’ve done, try simply accepting the gift without disparagement. Then consider how that acceptance makes you feel.

30 Things To Start Doing For Yourself

By Marc and Angel Hack

1. Start spending time with the right people. These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
2. Start facing your problems head on. It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them.  Problems will not disappear unless you take action.  Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done.  It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch.  These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
3. Start being honest with yourself about everything. Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. 
   
4. Start making your own happiness a priority. Your needs matter.  If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself.  Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you.  And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Be yourself.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
6. Start noticing and living in the present. Right now is a miracle.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future.  Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past.  Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.  Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress.  If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning.  Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again.  Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving.  Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures.  One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
8. Start being more polite to yourself. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?  The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.  You must love who you are or no one else will.
9. Start enjoying the things you already have. The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind.  You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now.  So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
10. Start creating your own happiness. If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out.  Smile because you can.  Choose happiness.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow.  Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it.  If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it.  But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. 
11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.
12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. You are ready!  Think about it.  You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward.  So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be.  Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment.  And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
14. Start giving new people you meet a chance. It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made.  People and priorities change.  As some relationships fade others will grow.  Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time.  You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.  Aim to break your own personal records.
16. Start cheering for other people’s victories. Start noticing what you like about others and tell them.  Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope.  Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.  And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right.  Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
18. Start forgiving yourself and others. We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others.  And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go.  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
19. Start helping those around you. Care about people.  Guide them if you know a better way.  The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.  Love and kindness begets love and kindness.  And so on and so forth.
20. Start listening to your own inner voice. If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition.  Be true to yourself.  Say what you need to say.  Do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. Slow down.  Breathe.  Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose.  When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity.  These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments. Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day.  Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner.  Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’  One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are.  Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal.  No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
24. Start working toward your goals every single day. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen.  Get out there and DO something!  The harder you work the luckier you will become.  While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it.  By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result.
25. Start being more open about how you feel. If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it.  Talk to those closest to you.  Tell them the truth about how you feel.  Let them listen.  The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
26. Start taking full accountability for your own life. Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.  You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
28. Start concentrating on the things you can control. You can’t change everything, but you can always change something.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.  Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward.  No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.
30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”  Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective.  You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.  You didn’t go to sleep outside.  You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.  You hardly broke a sweat today.  You didn’t spend a minute in fear.  You have access to clean drinking water.  You have access to medical care.  You have access to the Internet.  You can read.  Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.