Author: Kendra

Ana Febres-Cordero

ANA FEBRES-CORDERO

“I’m so glad I’m still here. When I was in high school, my life looked pretty perfect. By holiday break of my junior year, I was in my first serious relationship, had finished a great cross-country season, and had picked up a part-time job at a restaurant , which I really loved. I had amazing friends, and I was doing well in my classes. But I was carrying a weight I couldn’t shake. Literally, I’d gained eight pounds, and it was all I could think about. Normally confident, I became self-conscious about how I looked. I started getting jealous if my boyfriend hung out with other girls. I had a thousand bad thoughts. I’m not pretty enough… I need to be skinnier… I started to experience anxiety, especially about my boyfriend graduating and going off to college while I was still in high school. We went through a very ugly breakup. The rest of high school I didn’t feel like myself, and it continued until my first year of college. I didn’t have a label for what I was feeling it’s not like I woke up one day and suddenly knew I was depressed. I thought of it as teen angst. I felt overly sensitive, fearful, anxious, and lacked happiness. I felt like I was falling apart and then things got worse. I got sick with mono and couldn’t compete on the cross-country team. Not only was running something I loved, but it was also how I thought I’d make new friends. Instead, I spent most of my time alone in my dorm room watching Netflix. And then my suicidal thoughts I’d had a few in high school started up. I told no one. A few months later, I was at a party that I didn’t want to be at. Suddenly I felt a huge weight on my shoulders, like a boulder. It became physically impossible to smile, and I felt an urge to cry that stemmed from deep within my stomach. The girls I was with noticed and made sure I got back to my dorm. The next morning I woke up and remembered the meltdown I’d had had the night before. It involved me crying hysterically, falling to the ground, and being so out of it the girls had to put me in my pajamas. I was shamed and disguised with myself and felt like everyone would be better off without me. I saw no hope, no future, nothing. That night, I texted hearts to everyone I knew, wrote a letter to my parents in a journal, and attempted to kill myself. My friends found me and called 911. For the first couple of hours after my attempt, I hated that it hadn’t worked. But as I really came to, I began to feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. The sense of relief I experienced when I realized I’m alive was something I cannot explain. I have another chance to find my passion, go to college, and even just spend a day with my family. Therapy helped me realize I’d had lenses on that clouded my view of reality. It’s not like every day now is sunshine and rainbows, but there is nowhere I’d rather be than here. To anyone struggling. Give yourself a chance for the cloudy lenses to come off it will change your life.”  Seventeen Magazine

Cyndi Lauper

 

CYNDI LAUPER

“I didn’t want to be made over, and I didn’t want to be a balladeer. I tried wearing jeans and T-shirts, but I wasn’t really comfortable in my skin. Then Lady Gaga came out, and it woke me up again. I realized I didn’t have to worry about looking like a freak. I wanted to rock out! I like colors in my hair… I love dressing up. I’m more comfortable like that. I just want to combine art and music. It’s who I am.” People Magazine

Jennifer Weiner

JENNIFER WEINER

“They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I think that what doesn’t kill you makes you your best, kindest, most authentic version of yourself. The freaks and geeks don’t necessarily grow up to rule the world, but many of us do end up successful and a lot happier than we were as kids. My hope, now that I’m on the far side of 50, is that the pain I suffered means that the next generation will do better. My daughters know that being mean, that making fun, that excluding others is the worst thing they can do. And they know that I will come down on them like the relentless wrath of heaven if I ever learn that they’ve made another girl feel like she didn’t belong. Maybe some mean girls stay mean. And maybe some hurt girls never get over it. But maybe those wounds become our superpowers. Maybe they give us empathy and confidence and, most of all, best of all the ability to raise daughters, and sons, who will do better.”  Elle Magazine

Lady Gaga

LADY GAGA

“Kindness heals the world. Kindness heals people. It’s what brings us together. It’s what keeps us healthy. I was ra*** when I was 19 years old, repeatedly. I have been traumatized in a variety of ways by my career over the years from many different things, but I survived, and I’ve kept going. And when I looked at that Oscar, I saw pain. I don’t know that anyone understood it when I said it in the room, but I understood it. That kid out there or even that adult out there who’s been through so much, I want them to know that they can keep going, and they can survive, and they can win their Oscar. I would also beckon to anyone to try, when they feel ready, to ask for help. And I would beckon to others that if they see someone suffering, to approach them and say, ‘Hey, I see you. I see that you’re suffering, and I’m here. Tell me your story. I was a cutter for a long time, and the only way that I was able to stop cutting and self-harming myself was to realize that what I was doing was trying to show people that I was in pain instead of telling them and asking for help. When I realized that telling someone, ‘Hey, I am having an urge to hurt myself,’ that defused it. I then had someone next to me saying, ‘You don’t have to show me. Just tell me. What are you feeling right now?’ And then I could just tell my story. I say that with a lot of humility and strength; I’m very grateful that I don’t do it anymore, and I wish to not glamorize it. One thing that I would suggest to people who struggle with trauma response or self-harm issues or suicidal ideation is actually ice. If you put your hands in a bowl of ice-cold water, it shocks the nervous system, and it brings you back to reality. I once believed there was no way back from my trauma. I really did. I was in physical, mental, and emotional pain. And medicine works, but you need medicine with the therapy for it to really work, because there’s a part that you have to do yourself.” ELLE Magazine

Lizzo

LIZZO

“You mean if I lost weight, what would happen? Is my music and my weight so intrinsically connected that if I were to lose weight, I’d lose fans or lose validity? I don’t care! I lead a very healthy lifestyle mentally, spiritually, I try to keep everything I put in my body super clean. Health is something I prioritize, wherever that leads me physically. Like veganism, people were like, ‘You’re a vegan? What are you deep frying the lettuce?’ I’m not a vegan to lose weight, I just feel better when I eat plants. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, it changes again. I eat when I’m stressed out, sometimes to the point I didn’t realize how much I ate. Anything can be harmful, but it comforts me in a way. It sucks that we associate weight gain with the negative thing that causes it. It’s mixing this beautiful thing that is food and nourishing ourselves with it but it’s the stress that’s bad the bad thing, not the 20 pounds. I feel very lucky because I don’t feel that weight gain is bad anymore. Nor is weight loss, it’s neutral. And food is fun. I love eating, and I have a chef now, and I’m not thinking about it. I had a brownie last night.” VANITY FAIR Magazine